That’s A Menorah

parody of That’s Amore by Harry Warren & Jack Brooks
Parody lyrics by Joel Kopischke © 2005

At Christmas time, when carols ring
If you’re left out, here’s what you sing

When you’ve lit holiday lights, but you don’t 
believe in Christ, 
That’s a menorah
When your religion is older than Moses’ candleholder
That’s a menorah
It’s yuletide, dai-del-dai-del-dai, dai-del-dai-del-dai
But for you, no Santa Claus
Baruch ata, not fa-la-la, la-la-la
Egg nog fails kosher laws

When you’re best friend’s a moyl and you’ve run 
low on oil,
For your menorah
When you’re buying some toys, but not for any goys, 
At the mall
When you have a good book, but just the first five 
chapters you took, that’s the Torah
What we say, is ‘Oy Vey’, in our Yiddishe way
That’s a menorah

When you do shopping later, ‘cause you’re having a Seder
Light your menorah
When there’s no manger and cradle and you’re playing 
with a dreidel
Light your menorah
Hanukkah, not fa-la-la, fa-la-la
Though it falls close to Christmas
Deck the halls with lotsa lotsa Matzo balls
Then shlep your tokhes you go to a bris

When your friends they all kibbitz ‘cuz you like egg 
nog not Maneshevitz
That’s ferkakte 
When the star on your tree has six points don’t you see
You’re a Jew
When your stocking is hung, but you’d much rather run
To Miami Beach’s shore-ah
Skip the flight and burn bright all of the candlelight
On that menorah
Oy veh

Vocals: Joel Kopischke 
Drums: Del Bennett
Bass: Chris Kringel
Keyboards: Larry Moore
Guitar: Mike DeRose
Accordion: Tom Kanack
Trombone: Mark Hoelscher 
Clarinet: John Hibler 
Fiddle: Jerry Loughney
Tambourine: John Tanner